Be a conflict coach, not a referee

When conflict arises between two co-workers, or even a manager and someone below them, oftentimes the gut reaction is to get involved. As leaders, we sometimes run the risk of inserting ourselves into situations that would be better resolved if we didn’t play the leader card. It’s true that sometimes the situation does require a manager or leader to step in, especially when HR also needs to be called. However, providing your staff with the tools and encouragement they need to work everyday conflicts out on their own can better serve your company in the long run. The real challenge becomes knowing the difference between each type of conflict.

When it becomes apparent that there is a conflict between team members, as leaders we have a choice. Will we be coaches or referees?

A coach will work with their team before a conflict even begins to help them develop conflict resolution skills. A coach will look at the conflict and see a teaching opportunity. It is important to strive not to solve your employees’ conflict, but to provide each team member with an appropriate amount of knowledge (how did you deal with a similar situation successfully?) and compassion (empathy goes a long way!). By encouraging your employees to overcome obstacles on their own, they will be more efficient in solving problems in the future, the relationships between employees will strengthen, and overall your team will be more successful.

A referee, on the other hand, jumps in at the first sign of trouble for fear of the outcome if not in their control. This style of conflict management shortchanges your employees because they aren’t given an opportunity to grow and learn from the situation. Keep in mind, conflicts that necessitate a referee style of conflict management should be acted upon thoughtfully in accordance with your HR policies.

How do you currently handle conflict management? Are you a referee? A coach? Somewhere in the middle? How do you decide when to jump into a conflict? What specific situations have you encountered where it was best that you remain out of the picture? 

Leadership lessons from world events

Osama bin Laden’s death prompted reactions from political leaders around the world. In times of crisis, shock or celebration, people turn to leaders for emotional support. Therefore, it is important for leaders to understand what is expected of them from their followers and organization in order to appropriately respond.

Share the facts. After hearing any news, people begin researching and reading to learn the latest details. However, researching online can lead to unreliable sources and misunderstood information. It is the job of a leader to inform the audience of the true details. 

Express your emotion. People look to leaders to assess the gravity of the situation and provide emotional support. This doesn’t mean that you have to be emotionless for fear people will interpret you incorrectly. If it is a sad issue, show grief. If it is a celebration, show happiness. Share with your audience how you feel and they will appreciate your openness. 

Encourage community discussion. Schedule a discussion that allows people to share their reactions and thoughts on the situation in a pre-determined amount of time. In this brief session, answer questions, offer advice and guidance, and provide insight on how it will affect each individual’s role in the organization. 

Deliver next steps. Finally, it is important to share how you are handling the situation moving forward so your followers feel comfortable. If there are no next steps at the time, offer answers to any questions and hold yourself to a date when you will announce an update. 

How do you provide support to your followers during world events? How does your approach differ from announcing news regarding your organization? 

Banking: The Ten Commandments of working with your banker

By Harry Dennis for BizTimes Milwaukee

Sometimes an idea for a monthly column is like accidentally finding a gold nugget under your pillow.

That’s how I feel this month. First, I want to thank Atlanta Vistage member Lee Katz, CEO of The Turnaround Authority, for his insight on what he terms the “CEO’s 10 Cs of Corporate Borrowing.”

To present his 10 Cs, I called five Wisconsin bank CEOs, all TEC members, for their input on this subject. I’m indebted to Bob Atwell of Nicolet National Bank in Green Bay, Greg Dombrowski of Johnson Bank in Madison, Mark Furlong of M&I Bank in Milwaukee, Peter Prickett of First National Bank of Fox Valley in Neenah and Dave Werner of Park Bank in Milwaukee.

View the full article to read the Ten Commandments.

TEC Inspirational Leadership with Simon Sinek a success

On April 14, 2011, TEC hosted its 7th annual Inspirational Leadership event at the Milwaukee Mariott West in Waukesha, WI. More than 300 TEC Chairs, members and business leaders gathered to celebrate leadership and learn how to inspire others.

Simon Sinek, renowned leadership expert and author of "Start With Why" presented on the Golden Circle, his model that relates to the way in which people interact with each other and with organizations. Sinek challenged the audience to discover WHY their organizations exist as a strategy to better connect with other people who hold the same beliefs in order to succeed.

Thank you to Simon, our sponsors, our TEC Chairs, members and guests for joining us! Enjoy our recap video of Inspirational Leadership 2011.


TEC Inspirational Leadership with Simon Sinek from TEC Midwest on Vimeo.

To see photos from the event, visit our Facebook album.

TEC presents Simon Sinek at Inspirational Leadership 2011

Join TEC and BizTimes Media at the Inspirational Leadership 2011 event on April 14, 2011. We are excited to announce Simon Sinek, trained ethnographer and author, as the featured speaker.

Table seating is sold out for this event, however, you can participate via our live video feed. Contact Michele Bernstein at 262-821-3340 or by email at tec@tecmidwest.com for more information.